


What Burns Going Down

by BastardFrog27



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcohol, Fluff, Just... So much fluff, M/M, Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter), wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-20 07:49:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30001641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BastardFrog27/pseuds/BastardFrog27
Summary: Just some fluff!! This is my first fic so :)))). I wanted to make some fluffy, nice, relationship stuff! Word count is roughly 1800~ if you wanted to know.+++++Remus finds himself at Number 12 Grimmauld Place around Christmas time
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	What Burns Going Down

Remus John Lupin was no normal man, in fact he was quite a few steps away from normal. Sirius Black was almost as extraordinary as Remus Lupin. For starters, they were both wizards. Sirius came from a long line of pure-blood witches and wizards, his lineage was refined but the Black family name had long since trickled to a stop - Sirius the last to carry it. The manor that was left to him was huge, rotting, and bursting to the seams with ancient magic. Black hated the place as much as anyone could, perhaps more. He was restricted to Number 12 Grimmauld Place, he spent much of his time there alone. The Black Manor was the headquarters for the Order of The Phoenix, members would drop by often. Lupin was the one who was seen there most regularly. Remus knew what isolation was like - he had faced so much of it in his childhood. When Remus was young he was bitten by the most notorious werewolf in England, Fenrir Greyback. Him and Sirius both attended Hogwarts together, Lupin was lucky to have gotten a letter at all. He had hid his werewolfishness from his peers, fearing ridicule, backlash, and expulsion. 

Sirius had expected his letter from Hogwarts, though he had never expected to be sorted into Gryffindor. The Blacks were known for being Slytherins. Yet Sirius - by some luck - had been sorted into Gryffindor where he would make the best friends he had ever had. Since the day they first met, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and James Potter had been inseparable. You would never see one without the others. Remus thought fondly of James, whose life was cut short 14 long years ago.

He stood, in the present day however, in the solemn entrance of Number 12 Grimmauld Place, thinking of his dear friend. The Black Manor was empty for the Christmas Holidays, Lupin knew that Sirius would be here alone. Lupin himself had no one to spend Christmas with, much better to be with your friend than to be in an empty house. The manor was dark and grim, portraits and paintings of the lineage of the Blacks were hung all over the walls. One in particular was very loud and very audacious. Lupin had many lovely interactions with Sirius’ mother - who would sooner have married a muggle-born than let him anywhere near her house. Yet there he stood, in the entrance of the manor, waiting for Sirius. Lupin didn’t know why he was waiting, he was more than welcome and familiar with the house - he had been in and out over the past year. Lupin wandered from the entrance to the sitting room staring around - he had inhabited this space often, yet there was always something new to stare at.

“Remus?” A soft voice came from the door to the kitchen. Black was standing there, looking a mess. His hair was thoroughly uncombed and there were heavy bags under his eyes. It was clear that he was not expecting company. Sirius always looked tired, years in Azkaban had left him a mere shell of his old self. His hair was long and black, hanging in curtains around his pale, gaunt face. Remus thought of the young, handsome man he was before Azkaban - though he couldn’t deny that Sirius was still handsome. His black eyes were much more dull than they had been 14 years ago. His robes were shabby, but Lupin didn’t have much better than Sirius.

“I wasn’t expecting you to come for the holidays, I thought you would be celebrating with the Weasleys.” The Weasleys were another big family of wizards and a part of the Order of The Phoenix. Lupin had been invited to celebrate with them and other members of the Order for Christmas but he had politely declined. Sirius hadn’t been invited for obvious reasons, though Black thought it was stupid. It drove him mad that he couldn’t leave Grimmauld Place, even disguised as an animagus. Everyone agreed it was far too dangerous, with the ministry on the hunt for him. Though was living life cooped up where so much of his trauma lay much better? It felt almost like being back in Azkaban to him.

“I wasn’t expecting to be here.” Lupin placed his old briefcase on the floor and went to embrace Sirius. They never made much physical contact around others. It felt all too weird, too stifled, to do more than shake the others hand. Maybe it was out of respect for the other - or even shame. To Lupin, though, it was a relief to hug Sirius again.

“Should I go get some firewhiskey? Arthur brought me a bottle recently.” Sirius propsed when he finally let go of Remus. Firewhiskey sounded especially good to Lupin, who had been outside in the bitter cold. Sirius marched back into the kitchen to grab them drinks and Remus wandered to the sitting room. He started a warm fire in the grate with a flick of his wand and sank into one of the plush wingback chairs. It was nice to sit in front of the warm, crackling flame. Sirius returned from the kitchen with a glass of firewhiskey for the both of them. He settled into a chair adjacent to Remus and watched the fire. Lupin took a sip and immediately felt warmth spread through his body, right down to his fingers and toes. He leaned back, letting himself get comfortable. The silence between the two men was surely there, it was cold but not uncomfortable. The silence was not dreadful, yet Lupin yearned to break it.

“Remember our last day at Hogwarts?” Lupin spoke, at last cracking a bit of the silence. Sirius gave a warm chuckle. 

“I do, I was terrified to be leaving at last. James was upset that our mischief was finally put to an end.” Black took a sip of his whiskey, still watching the fire

“Everyone always called you and James inseparable. Wherever trouble was, James was there. And wherever James was, you were there.” Remus added lightheartedly, though the thought of James still lay heavy on both of their hearts. “I don’t think I ever saw you away from him for more than a few minutes” He was trying to not think too much about Potter, he never dwindled on James very much, it was far too painful. 

“Are you forgetting our own times alone, Remus? You would sit on your bed in the dormitories and read to me for hours, and I would listen no matter the book.” Sirius took another small sip. Remus had always been important to him. Though Black and Potter were almost like brothers, he shared something much deeper with Lupin. Remus had felt that deeper bond but it was something that made him afraid. He was so used to being feared, ridiculed, treated as less than human. Lupin had grown afraid of himself, so when Black wandered along and made him feel like an equal, like a person - like he was loved - he had no idea how to cope.

“You scared me at first,” Lupin admitted, “you and James did. I had never had friends before you guys.” Sirius was absentmindedly swirling his glass around in his hand, listening to him. “I was always afraid it was out of pity.”

“I don’t know where you got such rubbish ideas” Black joked. “You never scared me, Remus, but there were many other things you stirred in me. For seven whole years I was conflicted. I knew, of course, for a long time what I was.” Lupin was confused, what was Sirius talking about? Black didn’t notice his confusion, and kept talking. “But I couldn’t do that to you, even if it was obvious I wanted to. I couldn’t give you another burden to bear. You’re already a werewolf, what would people say if I had done something to you, to turn you how I was.” Black spat the last few words with bitterness and Remus understood, at last. “I left you in the dark and I never told a soul, the Gryffindor Black in love with the werewolf. I wouldn’t let you take another burden because I couldn’t control my own selfish feelings.” Something about how Sirius talked, how he spoke softly yet bitterly, made Lupin’s stomach churn with guilt.

“That last day at Hogwarts…” Lupin said, letting what Sirius had just told him sink in - letting everything click. Every little touch, every time Sirius tried to get Remus away alone, he had done it with shame. He couldn’t help but chuckle. They were grown men still feeling the same emotions they felt as teenagers. “Well, I suppose you weren’t the only one who felt conflicted. James was having his tearful goodbye to Lilly so we could slip away. You wanted to sit at the lake with me, to talk. And... “ He stopped to take a sip of his drink before continuing. “I wanted to tell you something but I couldn’t get the words out then. I doubt I could get them out now.” Black knew what Remus wanted to tell him, it was as obvious as it had been all those years ago, but still it hit him like a pile of bricks. He knew what Lupin wanted to say, he always knew but he never admitted it to himself. “So I kissed you on the cheek and ran to board the train.” Sirius let out a deep, warm, laugh. He clearly remembered that fondly. 

“You strung me on for seven years, Moony. Just to kiss me on the cheek and run away.” 

“Well you weren’t making a move either!” Remus burst out, though he laughed as well. He put his glass down on the table next to him and stretched, feeling thoroughly bathed in the fire’s warmth. He stood up slowly and gently and strode over to Sirius’s chair. He stood beside Black and lifted his face with a finger. Gingerly he leaned down and kissed him. He didn’t take his time and soon enough he had found his way back to his chair. Sirius looked at him both bewildered but clearly satisfied.

“That doesn’t clear up what you wanted to say to me at the lake.” Sirius chided teasingly. 

“Well if you want to know so bad, I was going to tell you that you smelled like a dog.” Lupin took a satisfied sip of his firewhiskey and burst out laughing. His spirits were thoroughly lifted, he felt as though he was floating. Neither Remus nor Black had admitted it, but they both knew. It didn’t have to be spoken, the words didn’t have to be said. Silence washed over them again, but a satisfied, warm silence this time. 

They both knew, they had always known, that they loved each other.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it, thank you for reading!


End file.
